Thoughts on the last phase of life
Letting go
The dying person has less and less physical energy. They are drawing back from the outer world, sleep more and rest a lot. They do not have an interest in books, news or television anymore. They no longer care to see people that they sought out before and that they loved to spend time with. They do not wish for neighbors or friends to come. They now want only to have a few close friends around themselves. And sometimes they just want to be alone.
Turning inside
It is a time in which a person is letting go of everything that is happening outside and is turning inside. In dreams, in half-sleep, and even when awake, they are looking back on and evaluating their life. Some look back quietly, alone, and just for themselves, while others are helped by a person sitting quietly beside them. In this case they are looking to us for space in which they could themselves meet their own life, their own memories. Let us offer them then a quiet attendance that will enable them to let the memories come and go. It may also happen that the dying person is just discovering in their life new connections, a new order and meaning. Situations point one to another and old joys and old guilt can be seen in a new light and newly understood.
Sleep and wakefulness
A dying person is usually more asleep than awake. Sometimes it seems that they are just sleeping, but they are often in this time processing many important things. That is important to have always in mind, respect, and not try to “wake” them. Just be there for them in silence.
Quiet
A dying person is turning to their inner self and has smaller need to talk. Words lose their importance. To be quiet has more meaning. When we as those who accompany them choose quiet participation we can get to know some of the healing power of silence. We are as if torn out from our everyday life and we can experience the touch of eternity.
Time
The notion of time as we know it from our days that were filled with activity disappears. However, sometimes the feeling of uncertainty related to the changed concept of time is burdening. Questions are appearing in the dying persons mind: How much time have I got left? Will it continue for long? How long do I have to suffer? How long will I be a burden to my loved ones?
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