Last moments
Coma
Some people fall into a coma during the last days. Based on testimony of many people who were clinically dead and then came back to life, we know that a person who seems not to be conscious still hears everything. The hearing is the last sense that goes away. Thus, we should talk in the presence of the dying as if they were awake and we were by their side or talking to them. Even though they look as if they were in the deepest unconsciousness they probably still hear everything we say. If we still want to tell them something important we should do so. It is definitely not too late to say, “Forgive me” or “I love you” or anything else that we always wanted to say. A deep connection can come into existence in this way. It is not suitable to ask, blame, or plead that they not die. It is important that we ourselves be absolutely calm inside and do not seek to change the conditions of the other person to fit our idea of how they would suit them. Until the end we accompany them quietly and attentively, sometimes through just simple joint breathing.
Symptoms of a nearing death that may or may not, occur:
- Eyes are open or half open, but actually they are not seeing. It seems as if they are looking far away, intensely on one spot.
- Cooling hands and feet or fever.
- The mouth is open.
- The bottom part of the body, legs, knees and hands are turning dark.
- The pulse is weakening.
- The frequency and depth of breath is changing.
- The pupil is reacting less and less to light.
- The dying person is becoming uninterested and does not react.
Death comes when the beating of the heart and breathing stop. That which we sometimes consider to be the least breath may often be further ended by one or two more breaths over a longer interval.
Whether the person accepted their own dying or not, death often comes in the moment when they find peace. Sometimes quiet contentment can be seen for a long time before and at other times this change occurs only in the last moments. It is a change that we cannot explain but can only surmise from the face of the deceased. It is the change that will bring everyone involved above the fears and doubts. The dying person has just gone through many battles, letting go of the body was incredibly hard, and now finally they are lying with a content expression on their face. Sometimes this serene expression begins to spread only after death comes and it is apparent only from the calm expression, sometimes even the smile of the deceased.
Some relatives have a feeling of guilt when they are not by the side of the dying person in the moment of death. Perhaps they were on the phone, preparing something to eat or had to go away. They then have the feeling: Now I left the other person alone, precisely in the most important moment, I left them alone. Why only did I not stay here? Why did I not anticipate it? Experience shows that the dying person often leaves, when they are alone. Maybe it is easier for them to shut off from the world and their loved ones that way. And also, sometimes it is necessary to remind ourselves again: The moment of death is the moment of their transition. Sometimes we are given the chance to witness it and thanks to that apprehend something from the “far bank”, but sometimes we just have to reconcile ourself with the role of a companion whose own departure from the world still awaits them.
See also
