Communicate with people that surround you
It is important that you be not alone with your suffering and your fears. People around you create a network of individuals willing to help you and your friends – as professionals or as amateurs, for personal or profesional reasons. In addition to your relatives and friends there is your general practitioner, a specialist who regularly checks you depending on the character of your sickness (for instance the oncologist), or the staff of the home nursing care or hospice. It is always possible to turn to someone.
Do not be afraid to break through the barriers and open up space for communication. Speak openly with the important people in your life about your and their problems, worries, and anxieties about sadness and fear – if they appear. It you are able to speak openly and listen honestly, you will feel better, because “a shared worry is a half worry”. As the patient’s relatives, help your suffering close person interpret his/her life positively (it had meaning, it was worth living…).
Be frank. Neither party should lie to the other that “nothing is happening”. If you do, you only deepen the uncertainty, anxiety and loneliness, because the other party definitely knows, that “something is going on”. Keeping back important facts and feelings from each other eliminates their sharing and mutual support.
If you are as relatives not sure when, about what, and how to speak, give the patient a clear and repeated signal that you are prepared to speak about anything that troubles him. Wait for his questions and his choice of topic. Be willing and prepared to listen.
Deal with specific issues and topics factually, but do not be afraid or ashamed to let your emotions show as well.
See also these links:
- Be active
- Coping with pain
- Coping with physical difficulties
- Coping with psychological difficulties
- Good departure
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